LAFAYETTE, La. -- The Ville Platte company that makes "Slap Ya Mama" Cajun seasoning has slapped a lawsuit for trademark infringement on an upstart spice company marketing under the name "Punch Ya Daddy." In related news, "ya granny's a crack ho" is suing "ya uncle's a tranny" and "ya sister cooks crank" is merging with "ya uncle sells heron", while "ya sister works the rack" and "ya daddy is your cousin" have declared chapter 13 bankruptcy. "ya brother did a donkey" however, is applying for a federal bail out.
As a prominent--and all too frequent-- defendant in San Antonio's court system, I can assure Mess that this is only the tip of the iceberg. Prior to becomming a hotel proprietor (Horseshoe Road Inn on Fredericksburg), I was quite an entrpreneur. My first endeavor was a dissolving rope for suicides who didn't want to leave the implements of their destruction behind. I called it "Massengill's Disposable Noose," only to be shut down by a cease and desist letter from Bristol Meyers. My second venture, a talent agency for local theater prodcuctions whcih I called "Cast Raters," was similarly quashed by Lorena Bobbitt. And of course let's not forget the plight of my latest decrepit doyenne, Lil O' Lady, heiress to the vast fortunes of the "Whites Only" Liquid Bleach Company. Her attorney, Sue D. Bastyrds, now tells her she's being sued by the NAACP for some reason.
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