Cara Blanca Cocoa Chaos,
I got rats in the cellar, so to speak. actually, just mice, and I'm a vegetarian and I just can't bring myself to kill them with those glue traps so I bought some live traps, and then I find out it's against the law in my town to release live animals anywhere. but I can't stand them chewing all my stuff and I gotta get rid of them somehow. can I sue the store that sold me the live traps?
-Desperately Seeking Pied Piper
Dear DSPP,
First of all, did you try to simply return the traps to the store? And is this store located in your town? If so, the store owner should certainly be aware of local trapping regulations. I'd try for a refund before I got all Judge Judy on his ass. Now, regarding those four legged creatures. I will tell you a little story. Picture this, Brooklyn, NY, late 1980's. Mess and some crazy coke head opera singer chick are sharing an apartment. Don't ask. That's how the 80's were. One day we come home and the upstairs neighbor is on the front stoop going crazy. Asks us if we have mice in our place. Says he killed 12 in the last week. We say no, sorry, and go home and feed our two cats. CATS. That's the magic answer to your problem. Apparently, those 12 dead rodents stopped at his crib, one flight above ours, because they SENSED the presence of PUSSAY in our domain. Get a cat. If you are allergic, keep the cat in the cellar or outside. God created cats to kill mice. Lord knows they ain't all that good for much else. Also any terrier type dog will be an effective mouser. If none of this works for you, go down in that cellar and stuff up every possible entry point with steel wool - rodents hate steel wool as much as they hate cats. But, for true rodent control. there's nothing like the power of PUSSAY, baby. Good Luck!
This is easy.
ReplyDeleteCatch them, grab them by the tail and dip them in boiling water for 2 minutes, and then the fur will just pluck off. Rince well. Lop off the head with a carving knive. The three blind mice were right.
Once done, cut down the tiny chest, remove the insides, and soak in teriaki and pinapple juice for 30 minutes.
Cook on the grill, 5 minutes for 4 ounces, 10 minutes for 8 ounces, and if you have one of those New York Rats, skip it all and have him whacked professionally. Uncle Vito lives in your area, 202-555-VITO.