Dear White Choco Mess,
It's Fall and I'm having a fashion dilemna. I just saw 'The September Issue' movie and I got all caught up in the fashion world again and I even felt a little sorry for Anna Wintour because she wore some ugly ass dresses to work and her daughter and the rest of her family think she's silly (I loved Grace Coddington! she works!) but when I went to buy this year's September issue of Vogue it was $11.99 and that was before tax! meanwhile my second neighbor got forclosed this month and people are starving all over the world not to mention right here in the USA. anyway, what do you think is the best way to get Tom Ford to notice me?
signed,
Phat Pat Trick
Dear Phat,
Than you so much for writing. I believe you are experiencing a pang of guilt for feeling "fashionable" as the world crumbles down around your ass but please allow Mess to assuage some of that guilt. Sorry to hear about the foreclosures, I know how depressing that can be, but let's get real - a whole lot of folks played the housing game like a bunch of drunk sailors on a shore leave. Back in my day, one considered a home an investment, and the goal was to see the monthly payment decrease until it reached a magical point of equity, wherein one owns the home free and clear, can then sell it, and have a lifetime of savings, retire to Miami and die happy. Like a bank account you can live in. But these days, fools be using their houses like god damn ATM machines. The Home Equity Line Of Credick (HELOC) is one reason so many are foreclosing. They borrowed money against an house with an over inflated value, took the money to buy SUV's, huge flat screens, breast augmentation, whatever people spend their money on. Meanwhile the value of the damn house goes down (like we all didn't see it coming.....especially in Cali) and you owe more than it's worth and basically you are fucked with out lube. So don't waste your tears. It'll ruin your guyliner.
Now regarding world hunger, consider that the fashion business puts food on many tables, from the seamtress in China to the designer and everyone associated with the business. U.S. employment in clothing, shoes and accessories stores totaled 1.45 million in 2008,1.5 million in 2007. Employment in manufacturing and wholesale trade of apparel, accessories, shoes and textiles totaled 679,500 in 2008, compared to 729,000 in 2007. So, if we all start buying our frocks at thrift stores or make dresses out of hefty bags (like thay did that one time on Project Runway) we're just taking the food away from all the poor little chirren of the fahionistas. Fashion seems frivilous these days, doesn't it? But look at those numbers. During the Great Depression, one industry that flourished was the movies, because people needed an escape. And we need fashion, to look good, to feel good. So, my dearest Phat, go out and buy yourself something fabulous. Pay retail. Know you're putting food on somebody's table and looking hot doing it.
Regarding Tom Ford, he's running around promoting his new film "A Single Man" (which, by the way, he is NOT in real life...) so watch for him coming to a city near you, dress sessy and pretend you are a reporter. Mess does it all the time. Now go WORK IT!
It's Fall and I'm having a fashion dilemna. I just saw 'The September Issue' movie and I got all caught up in the fashion world again and I even felt a little sorry for Anna Wintour because she wore some ugly ass dresses to work and her daughter and the rest of her family think she's silly (I loved Grace Coddington! she works!) but when I went to buy this year's September issue of Vogue it was $11.99 and that was before tax! meanwhile my second neighbor got forclosed this month and people are starving all over the world not to mention right here in the USA. anyway, what do you think is the best way to get Tom Ford to notice me?
signed,
Phat Pat Trick
Dear Phat,
Than you so much for writing. I believe you are experiencing a pang of guilt for feeling "fashionable" as the world crumbles down around your ass but please allow Mess to assuage some of that guilt. Sorry to hear about the foreclosures, I know how depressing that can be, but let's get real - a whole lot of folks played the housing game like a bunch of drunk sailors on a shore leave. Back in my day, one considered a home an investment, and the goal was to see the monthly payment decrease until it reached a magical point of equity, wherein one owns the home free and clear, can then sell it, and have a lifetime of savings, retire to Miami and die happy. Like a bank account you can live in. But these days, fools be using their houses like god damn ATM machines. The Home Equity Line Of Credick (HELOC) is one reason so many are foreclosing. They borrowed money against an house with an over inflated value, took the money to buy SUV's, huge flat screens, breast augmentation, whatever people spend their money on. Meanwhile the value of the damn house goes down (like we all didn't see it coming.....especially in Cali) and you owe more than it's worth and basically you are fucked with out lube. So don't waste your tears. It'll ruin your guyliner.
Now regarding world hunger, consider that the fashion business puts food on many tables, from the seamtress in China to the designer and everyone associated with the business. U.S. employment in clothing, shoes and accessories stores totaled 1.45 million in 2008,1.5 million in 2007. Employment in manufacturing and wholesale trade of apparel, accessories, shoes and textiles totaled 679,500 in 2008, compared to 729,000 in 2007. So, if we all start buying our frocks at thrift stores or make dresses out of hefty bags (like thay did that one time on Project Runway) we're just taking the food away from all the poor little chirren of the fahionistas. Fashion seems frivilous these days, doesn't it? But look at those numbers. During the Great Depression, one industry that flourished was the movies, because people needed an escape. And we need fashion, to look good, to feel good. So, my dearest Phat, go out and buy yourself something fabulous. Pay retail. Know you're putting food on somebody's table and looking hot doing it.
Regarding Tom Ford, he's running around promoting his new film "A Single Man" (which, by the way, he is NOT in real life...) so watch for him coming to a city near you, dress sessy and pretend you are a reporter. Mess does it all the time. Now go WORK IT!
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