WHICH SPURS MAKE YOU DRIBBLE?

TNT's Chris Webber chimed in this week with his favorite starting 5 in San Antonio Spurs history. Now it's your turn. With opening night at the AT&T Center just 58 days away, Kens5.com want to know: who are your favorite five players in Spurs history?

And we at WhiteChocolateMess want to know which Spurs players would you hit? So, send us your picks! Who are the sexiest Spurs? Sorry, Eva, you don't get to vote...

TULA

Caroline "Tula" Cossey (born 31 August 1954) is one of the world's most well known transgender women, having appeared in a James Bond film and been the first to pose for Playboy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caroline_Cossey

DIANA SPENCER

Died on this day in 1997 at the age of 36.

PEGGY LIPTON

Born today in 1947. Shown here with her fellow MOD SQUAD (1968-1973) colleagues Michael Cole and Clarence Williams III. Recently voted one of the 20 sexiest women over 50, Lipton has two daughters from a previous marriage to Quincy Jones.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mod_Squad

SHIRLEY BOOTH

Born today in 1898, died in 1992. While most know her from the television show Hazel, Booth won a Tony in 1950 for her heart breaking portrayal of a lonely, self-sacrificing wife of an alcoholic doctor in Come Back Little Sheba. Booth also won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe when she reprised the role in the 1952 film version.

HOW ABOUT A PSYCHO BEACH PARTY?

It's been a long, hot, nasty summer. So how about a PSYCHO BEACH PARTY? This combination parody of 1960's beach party movies and horror flicks ( sounds like what we imagine South Padre to be like during Spring Break) is playing at The Camelot through October 3. You get $3 off the admission if you dress in beach attire.

http://www.cameotheatre.org/psychobeach/index.htm

KAY HUTCHINSON NEEDS A DICTIONARY

Kay Hutchinson is calling herself an "enlightened" Republican. According to Merriam Webster, enlightened is 1 : freed from ignorance and misinformation 2 : based on full comprehension of the problems involved.
We don't quite know what dictionary she's been using, but check her "enlightened" voting record:

Voted YES on constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. (Jun 2006)
Voted NO on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes. (Jun 2002)
Voted NO on expanding hate crimes to include sexual orientation. (Jun 2000)
Voted YES on ending special funding for minority & women-owned business. (Oct 1997)
Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
Voted NO on banning affirmative action hiring with federal funds. (Jul 1995)
Rated 25% by the ACLU, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record. (Dec 2002)
Rated 0% by the HRC, indicating an anti-gay-rights stance. (Dec 2006)
Rated 18% by the NAACP, indicating an anti-affirmative-action stance. (Dec 2006)

INGRID BERGMAN

Born on this day in 1915, died on this day in 1982 following a battle with breast cancer.

THE FOURTH ANNIVERSARY OF KATRINA

For those who perished, those who survived, those who risked their lives to help and those who simply looked away, our prayers are with all of you. Those in that last category are especially going to need to be prayed for.

THE GOVERNMENT IS ALL UP IN OUR BUTTS

Effective September 22, 2009, all clove and flavored cigarettes will be ILLEGAL to be sold in the United States. We are not making this up, in fact we found out just this afternoon when we stopped by our local tobacco store and the manager informed us. Those of you who know that Mess is a big fan of Djarum Specials know there's going to be an angry editorial coming up very soon. Right now I'm stepping out to burn one.

TEXAS LIQUOR BOARD FIRES 3 AFTER BAR RAID

FORT WORTH — Texas’ liquor board fired two agents and a supervisor, disciplined two other supervisors and changed several policies in the wake of a raid at a gay bar that left a customer with a serious head injury, officials announced Friday.
The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said agent Christopher Aller and agent trainee Jason Chapman, who participated in the June 28 raid at the Rainbow Lounge, were fired Friday. Their supervisor, Sgt. Terry Parsons, was not at the Fort Worth bar that night but also was fired, effective Sept. 2.

RUTH GORDON

Passed away on this day in 1985 at the age of 88.

NANCY KULP

Born on this day in 1921.

Y'ALL HEADED TO THE GAY RODEO?

It's time for the old "steers, queers and beers" as the Gay Rodeo opens tommorrow in Seguin.

http://www.tgra.org/cms_home/index.html

STEVIE RAY VAUGHN

The Dallas born guitarist and singer died in a helicopter crash on this day in 1990.

CHANDRA WILSON

Born today in Houston, Texas in 1969

TOM FORD

Born today in Austin, Texas in 1961

RECOMMENDED READING

Many of you know that Joyce Carol Oates is one of our favorite writers. In light of Sen. Edward Kennedy's death we would like to suggest this brilliant, haunting imagined account of the night in 1969 when Sen. Kennedy drove off a bridge in Chappaquddick, Mass. killing Mary Jo Kopechne, a 28 year old who was working on his campaign.

WORLD'S LARGEST TOMATO FIGHT

La Tomatina is held on the last Wednesday of August each year in the town of Buñol in the Valencia region of Spain. Tens of thousands of participants come from all over the world to fight in a brutal battle where more than one hundred metric tons of over-ripe tomatos are thrown in the streets.
The week-long festival features music, parades and fireworks.. On the night before the tomato fight, participants of the festival compete in a paella cooking contest. It is tradition for the women to wear all white and the men to wear no shirts. This festival started in a casual way in 1945 but wasn't officially recognized until 1952.
Approximately 20,000–50,000 tourists come to the tomato fight, multiplying by several times Buñol's normal population of slightly over 9,000. There is limited accommodation for people who come to La Tomatina, and thus many participants stay in Valencia and travel by bus or train to Buñol, about 38 km outside the city. In preparation for the dirty mess that will ensue, shopkeepers use huge plastic covers on their storefronts in order to protect them.

GERALDINE FERRARO

Happy 74th Birthday to the first female Vice Presidential Candidate in history (1984).

LAURA BRANIGAN

Singer Laura Branigan passed away on this day in 2004 at the age of 47. She died in her sleep of an undiagnosed brain aneurysm at her home on Long Island, NY.

THE RECESSION IS OVER!!!

HERE'S A NEWS STORY FROM THE DALLAS NEWS THAT MESS HAS TRANSLATED.

The Great Recession is over, says Richard W. Fisher, president and chief executive of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas. (HE STILL HAS A JOB).
The U.S. economy is no longer in free fall, and a healing process has begun, he said Tuesday. Consumers are more confident. And housing is showing a few positive signs. (GEORGE AND LAURA BUSH BOUGHT A HOUSE)

"We're beginning to see indicators that we're coming out of this," he said. (THE RESTAURANT HE ATE OUT AT LAST NIGHT WAS VERY CROWDED)

- Dallas News

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TRUMAN CAPOTE

Died on this day in 1984 at the age of 59

SEAN CONNERY

Born today in 1930

NEXT STOP HELL, PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN LEAVING THE TRAIN

Right after the demise of The King of Pop, a Texas politician petitioned for a Michael Jackson Day. We almost lost our mind after hearing about that, as many of you may recall. Well, here we go again...

http://whitechocolatemess.blogspot.com/2009/07/we-have-gone-officially-insane.html

NEW YORK – A New York City lawmaker wants to see Michael Jackson honored at a subway station where the star made the music video for "Bad."
Councilwoman Letitia James wants a plaque placed at Brooklyn's Hoyt-Schermerhorn station — or to have "Jackson" added to the station's name.
Metropolitan Transportation Authority spokesman Kevin Ortiz said Monday it's unlikely. James, undeterred, plans a petition drive.
Jackson, who died June 25, shot the Martin Scorsese-directed music video at the downtown Brooklyn station in 1987.
Ortiz says the MTA prohibits station plaques. The agency is developing naming-rights guidelines.

JEAN RHYS

One of our all time favorite authors , Jean Rhys, was born today in 1894.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Rhys

IT GOT TOO TASTY AT THE TASTEE DINER

Dozens of same-sex couples locked lips inside a popular Maryland diner Wednesday to protest the treatment of lesbian couple there.Aiyi-nah Ford and Torian Brown said they were tossed from Tastee Diner at about 2 a.m. on the morning of August 12th for holding each other, not even kissing, in front of the counter. They also claim that a straight couple was making out nearby with no complaints from management."We were just like talking and holding each other, and the next thing you know, the manager comes over and he asks us to leave," Brown said. The manager pulled the old "this is a family establishment" card, of course.

Have you ever been in a diner at 2 in the damn morning? I'm sure the place was just loaded with impressionable young tots................................

RIVER PHOENIX

Born on this day in 1970. Died in 1993.

THOSE PESKY LITTLE HIDDEN PHRASES

Last week it was discovered that Gubernatorial candidate Kay Bailey Hutchison, had strange shit like 'rick perry gay" on her website's search engine. It caused quite the little uproar and even got Hutchison banned from a few major search engines. But hell, this is just the beginning of the mud slinging, bile spitting, character assinating, evil garbage that will spew forth from both of the idiots who want to run our state (or in Perry's case, our COUNTRY). Unless of course, Texas gets KINKY. That's what we're hoping. But, Kay, even if you did do that "gay" thing on purpose, girlfriend, for a fighting Texan that is pretty weak. See some of our suggestions below, and if either of y'all need us to do some consulting work, give us a holler! You two can beat each other up into little packets of bbq sauce for all we care 'cause we're behind KINKY 100%.

Anyhoo, we decided to run a few searches of our own, but didn't come up with much. If any of our readers can do better, kindly give us a holler!

Rick Perry porn actor and meth addict

Kay Bailey Hutchison alcoholic shoplifter

Rick Perry sex with mules

Kay Bailey Hutchison stripper during college

Rick Perry never paid taxes

Kay Bailey Hutchison Sarah Palin lesbian affair

Rick Perry and Bin Laden share a Lone Star

Kay Bailey Hutchison porn actor meth addict

Rick Perry crush on Natalie Maines

RUDOLPH VALENTINO R.I.P

Rodolfo Alfonso Raffaello Piero Filiberto Guglielmi di Valentina (Rudolph Valentino) died on this day in 1926 at the age of 31 from peritontis. Over 100,000 attended his New York funereal, and it is said that women were leaping from windows when they heard of the death.

GABRIEL AUBRY

Nope, it's not Halle Berry's baby daddy birthday. It's a heart warming little picture of a man and his baby, just a pic to make y'all feel good. It's a subtle reminder that God, who supposedly makes us all in his image, has a whole lot of disguises. Look at this picture and try, try really hard, to think of John Goodman. Or Richard Nixon. Or Swifty Lazar...

http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/

DOROTHY PARKER

Born today in 1893. What are your favorite Dorothy Parker quotes? Let us know!

THE DOPE HOUSE HAS A LUNCH MENU!

Now, this don't look like any dope house Mess and his posse ever been at, but this is how they do it in Beverly Hills. They be checking this place out to see if that shit that killed The King Of Pop came out of here. This dope house is so damn fancy, they even serve shakes and sandwiches. Hell, we'd be lucky to get a damn Pepsi outta Chuy (sorry, no website) when we go cop down there.
http://www.mickeyfine.com/

A PAID WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS

WEEKEND BRAIN TEASER!

This is a THREE part quiz. They were the FIRST to do what nearly everybody today is doing. Who are they and what did they do, and when did they do it?

KIM CATTRALL

Happy Birthday to Kim Cattrall, born today in 1956

JEFF STRYKER

Charles Casper Peyton, aka Jeff Stryker, was born today in 1962.

FAMOUS ALAMO HEIGHTS HIGH SCHOOL GRAD - GUESS WHO

JACQUELINE SUSANN

Born today in 1921

ISAAC HAYES

Born today in 1942.

SURREAL ESTATE: SAN ANTONIO'S MOST EXPENSIVE LISTING

Remember last month we showed you San Antonio's most expensive single family home listing?
That $6 million shack in The DOUGHMINION? Well, that property has just lost its title because look at what just came on the market! It's new construction, so all we have so far is this artist's rendering. Anyhoo, 325 Terrell Road is a 6 bedroom, 9 bath, 13,000 square foot maison with an air conditioned 4 car garage (can't have that Arnage working up a sweat now, can we?) a seperate guest house and caretaker's quarters, media room, his and her (or his and his or her and her) closets, baths, libraries, and a 2500 bottle wine cellar AND a cigar lounge. And the magic number? Drum roll, please. $7,750,000. Listed with Phyllis Browning.

GENE RODENBERRY

The creator of Star Trek, a native of El Paso, Texas, was born today in 1921.

SCENE AROUND SAN ANTONIO

Here's Cassie (Cryptique) and my niece Julianne Thomas (R) at the Japanese Culture & Anime Convention,which went down this past weekend on the San Antonio Riverwalk.

PATRICK SWAYZE

The Houston, Texas native was born on this day in 1952.

A PAID WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS

A POLITICAL ENDORSEMENT FROM MESS

Think about it, y'all. More Rick Perry? Kay Hutchison? Good Lord. If for no other reason than Kinky's feeling about gay marriages. "Kinky supports gay marriage and equal rights for homosexuals. He believes that the constitution protects everyone. As he says, "I believe love is bigger than government. And besides, they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us." http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/issues/faq.html

MAE WEST

Born today in 1893.

EMILY ROBISON

Happy Birthday to Dixie Chick and San Antonio resident Emily Robison, born today in 1972

WOODSTOCK TURNS 40

40 years ago today the hot mess of a concert that would become a cultural icon was rocking and rolling.